Divorce And Grief Counseling Kansas City; Top Therapist Explains The Phases Of Divorce Related Grief

By Sharon Long


Divorce leaves one grieving of ambiguous loss. This brings about an intense feeling of grief, similar to what one feels after the death of a loved one. Regardless of the turn of events that lead to the end of your marriage, the parties involved are bound to experience loss in a very exceptional way. You can expect to grieve during divorce and even after your marriage is dissolved. If you require divorce and grief counseling Kansas City has a reliable number of proficient counselors to offer.

Once you are served with the divorce papers, the first phase you will fall into is denial. You may assume that your partner is acting out and is possibly not serious about the decision. The shock may even leave you thinking that what happened did not happen at all. The duration of the denial phase will depend on whether or not you saw a divorce coming.

From this point, you will get into the pain and panic phase. You may feel pain and anxious because of all the emotional and monetarily changes that are bound to take place. The thought of what your kids will go through could also leave you anxious and in pain. The sad news is that neither time nor counseling can guarantee that all your pain will ultimately vanish. The good news however is that pain is fear escaping from your body and it will motivate you to plan for a better tomorrow.

The next stage is anger. This may involve thinking about how you exchanged your vows and how they do not mean anything at the moment. You may also get angry over the numerous times your spouse cheated or frustrated you emotionally. Those with kids may also get furious about what is happening and how it will affect the innocent children.

With all that is happening, you may feel the urge to bargain with your spouse. This could involve giving unrealistic promises and possibly promising to change your nasty behaviors. Sometimes, the bargaining phase can help to stop divorce, though this is not always guaranteed. In case it does not, you still have reason to keep your chin up and hope for a better tomorrow.

The guilt phase then kicks in and this where you think about all the things you would have done different. In some cases, the turn of events can be blamed on both spouses. You should therefore take it easy on yourself to get rid of that feeling of carrying around a hundred pounds wrapped around your ankles. Any therapist will tell you for free that you need to get over the guilty feeling for you to move on.

Unfortunately the depression stage is almost inevitable. You are likely to have a void and filling it will not be a simple thing to do. This is more so the case if you were married for years and had a profound love for your spouse. It is during this phase that most people decide to seek counseling.

Life does not come to a halt simply because one has been divorced. The body creates a coping mechanism and it is true that time is a healer. That said, the final stage is acceptance where an individual embraces the past and focuses on the future. Getting to this phase is not easy and seeking reliable counseling would be crucial.




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